Read Psalm 42.
We self-diagnosed people pleasers dwell in this tension between what we think and what we say. We go on splashing water on the tiny fires sparking in our chests. Our hearts call out to us: This feels wrong, it’s not right for me, I know what is true. Our mouths say, “I’m sorry,” “It’s fine,” “I don’t know.”
We’re all so painfully fine, aren’t we?
Deep calls to deep, writes the psalmist. And this author does not mean those rehearsed phrases we reserve for small talk. (I don’t think this involves words at all.) This Deep is the innate hungering and craving and yearning we have for some capital-t-Thing that is so much bigger and wider and stronger than ourselves.
I know that capital-t-Thing as God.
In Hebrew, the word ruach means both “breath” and “spirit.” The Spirit works within our own Deep to reach us, speaking through tear ducts and gut feelings and uneasiness and restlessness.
God works through us and within us. Our Deep stirs in us through our lungs by gasping or holding our breath or losing it altogether.
And this, beloved, is how we will know God and one another: by breath and desire and the Deep alone. This Deep is unrehearsed and unburdened by the weight of others’ expectations, calling us to a greater love and truth. As long as there is breath in us, God works through us.
The Deep calls to us still. Alleluia. Amen.
May we answer to the Deep in us and the Deep in others. Let us speak the words on our hearts and live through the passion within us. Amen.
Student, UKirk Memphis